depleted of life.

everytime i row, it seems to be battle with my ownself. i have to fight my own war, have to survive my own attacks. yet, lick my own wounds. my body would scream at me, telling me to stop. stop rowing, slack off, i'm tired, too much latic. i can feel it. its too much to take when i'm conscious. what i try to, is to keep telling myself in my head, keep going, keep going, row harder, i'm strong. today, i think i've become better. the mind took over the body when i was halfway through the 1km race set. the mind told the muscles to keep going, yet pain kept coming back. it was an on-going battle. the emerged victor? me.

today's training was probably the start of future similar trainings. we will do race sets along the breakwater path. how much we race, will depend on mr lee, how much he thinks we can take the pain. tml's canoeing again. shoulders will scream for rest. people will capsize. i will watch how the year2 girls row with the juniors. AGAIN.

my life has been really sucked out of me. i've nothing to hang onto. no wall of resistence for my to kick, or lean against when i'm tired. my standard-bearer falls. train, study, train, study, train, study, train, study, train, study.............. no special someone.