U2 - with or without you

i can't live

with or without you

with or without you



Bon Jovi - this ain't a love song

if the love i got for you is gone,

if the river i cried ain't that long,

then i'm wrong,

yeah, i'm wrong,

this ain't a love song.



i'm feeling emotional again. even when i fill myself with dates with other girls, i continue to think of her so much. so much, yet i don't have the guts to face her if i see her. why? why?


i cried and i cried for those nights i died for you baby.

.
.
.

this ain't a love song.


tania's great company. and so is evonne. but somehow, it just ain't the same.

"..but as you told me before, to follow my heart, and that's why i wanna just choose you as a good friend.." "...better as a good buddy.."

yeah. so its no longer possible between me and her, so clearly stated. i don't know what to do actually. just go along with it, or try to forget everything. become really selfish and don't even be friends (that's because i don't think i can ever see her as a friend)..

ugh.


i'm working at NUM now. but shenzi and colin haven't scheduled me for any days yet. so in a way "not working", but employed. haha. that's dumb. but working at NUM on wednesday was fun. was at the flops shop. quite busy, moving around and serving customers (some were really pretty!) haha. i wouldn't mind working at NUM for the next 3 months already. but i really wish to work at the main store then flops. i just want to learn more of what NUM sells. partly because then i can get the 6 an hour pay if the boss thinks i am able to bring in more sales (by being really knowledgable in the products sold).

shit la. i still feel lost. stupid.

http://www1.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=54617863/a=15743528_15 743528/t_=15743528


above is the url to the snapfish website where i uploaded all my prom pictures! go ahead and check them out. really good looking people in there (including me, of course) HA!

the marathon was good! i felt it was good, because i kept running and walking without any terrible cramps or aches. just need deep heat, lots of stretches and fluids along the way. cool weather, great people. hell, it was good. 5 hours and 49 seconds. haha. i thought i could sub 5 hours, but hell, it was good enough from my target of sub 6 hours.

prom was better, really enjoyed myself there. pictures, pictures, and more of them. though my hussle couldn't make it, hell i think i make a damn good candidate for prom king. as a matter of fact, i'm actually going in errol's stead (because he's in japan now) for the inter-jc prom pageant. =) together with huisin (she's queen, and errol's king) we would be representing ny's prom couple! hahaha. i hope it would be fun, catwalking, making new friends and knowing pretty ladies from the other jcs. let's hope i can get talent scouted too. at least that would open a field of modelling for me. another good source of income from there. yupps.

somehow, my dream for this 4 months, to become a personal trainer, is slowly dying off as no clients have been clinched. no one around me seems to be interested in getting a trainer for themselves to become fitter, and achieve a better body. i guess i did my calculations wrongly, and used a wrong strategy. i have to relook it again, and at the very most, go for another lousy job. running lab's quite good la, as in, its something that i enjoy doing, running that is. and the job allows me to interact and share ideas with people who have the same interests as i do. pay's all right, 6 an hour, but the job's not confirmed. the guy in charge said he needed to see if there was a need for more manpower at the new shop at Velocity. oh well. let's wait.

and the jobs at zouk. oh man, so not confirmed. its like, if they need people, then they would call me? hmm. i'm thinking of lettting them know i can work till april, maybe they might give me some perm job there. i just have to make sure it doesn't compromise my exercising routines and gym workouts.


i need to work. i want to work! really. just that, i want to work as a personal trainer. tat's all.

marathon day in a few hours time!

haha. soon, it will be muscle aches, cramps, the hot sun, the stifling humidity. but it will also be the test of the human mind against the body, the human spirit, inspiration at its best.. now, who said all the pain weren't worth it?!

sub 6 hours, my targetted timing. but hell, if i could do that, i would CELEBRATE! haha. no small feat for a guy whom didn't train for it or run much for it. pretty stupid, but i will just do it!

YAY! CHEER ME ON! support me on my last 400m at the padang around 11am. hope to see familiar faces!