"..but as you told me before, to follow my heart, and that's why i wanna just choose you as a good friend.." "...better as a good buddy.."

yeah. so its no longer possible between me and her, so clearly stated. i don't know what to do actually. just go along with it, or try to forget everything. become really selfish and don't even be friends (that's because i don't think i can ever see her as a friend)..

ugh.


i'm working at NUM now. but shenzi and colin haven't scheduled me for any days yet. so in a way "not working", but employed. haha. that's dumb. but working at NUM on wednesday was fun. was at the flops shop. quite busy, moving around and serving customers (some were really pretty!) haha. i wouldn't mind working at NUM for the next 3 months already. but i really wish to work at the main store then flops. i just want to learn more of what NUM sells. partly because then i can get the 6 an hour pay if the boss thinks i am able to bring in more sales (by being really knowledgable in the products sold).

shit la. i still feel lost. stupid.