i am stretched both sides.
today. or rather just 2 days ago. i was faced with a difficult choice.
if i have to make a choice to place someone in a wekaer boat, not because he is not strong enough, but he's essential to the boat. but i would have to hurt this team mate's feelings and pride.
or i become a good team mate and friend, by changing his place with another person but by doing so, compromising the stronger boat, and therefore causing a liabilty to the stronger boat with a higher chance of winning.
and today, i was made to make a choice. on the bus, i was just coming up with ideas and methods to overcome this situation. but no matter how hard i try, the solutions just caused more problems.
in the end, i made a few changes to the boats' arrangement, and i was kind of prepared to take responsibilty if anything went wrong. Or was i? i was caught off guard when mr lee arrived, which he wasn't supposed to until like halfway through the rowing, by when i would switched the changes back. but he came still, and i was beginning to get quite worried. what if he realised that changes were made without his knowledge. what if he ask the team questions that only i have the answers.
fortunately, he just managed to spot a few changes and everything went on fine. but, i knew i shouldn't keep him in the dark and i told him what i honestly felt and what i did to the arrangements. i'm glad he understood my intentions, but sort of not pleased with my decision.
rowing went on.... and my form sucked. worse, miss lim was on shore filming the rowing process. damn. i'm going to criticsed by mr lee again. ugh.
how many times i wanted to tell her that i really liked her. but even with that fire burning inside me, each passing day growing larger to consume me totally, it had to be caged. there's no way i could just tell her that. its not right. what can she say if i really did. we're not even close or good friends.... tries to get to know her better failed miserably. i wished i could have a chance, to get to know her really well. become more personal.
and guess what. i'm 65 kg now. i gained 2 kg. i don't know whether i should be glad or feel bad.
if i have to make a choice to place someone in a wekaer boat, not because he is not strong enough, but he's essential to the boat. but i would have to hurt this team mate's feelings and pride.
or i become a good team mate and friend, by changing his place with another person but by doing so, compromising the stronger boat, and therefore causing a liabilty to the stronger boat with a higher chance of winning.
and today, i was made to make a choice. on the bus, i was just coming up with ideas and methods to overcome this situation. but no matter how hard i try, the solutions just caused more problems.
in the end, i made a few changes to the boats' arrangement, and i was kind of prepared to take responsibilty if anything went wrong. Or was i? i was caught off guard when mr lee arrived, which he wasn't supposed to until like halfway through the rowing, by when i would switched the changes back. but he came still, and i was beginning to get quite worried. what if he realised that changes were made without his knowledge. what if he ask the team questions that only i have the answers.
fortunately, he just managed to spot a few changes and everything went on fine. but, i knew i shouldn't keep him in the dark and i told him what i honestly felt and what i did to the arrangements. i'm glad he understood my intentions, but sort of not pleased with my decision.
rowing went on.... and my form sucked. worse, miss lim was on shore filming the rowing process. damn. i'm going to criticsed by mr lee again. ugh.
how many times i wanted to tell her that i really liked her. but even with that fire burning inside me, each passing day growing larger to consume me totally, it had to be caged. there's no way i could just tell her that. its not right. what can she say if i really did. we're not even close or good friends.... tries to get to know her better failed miserably. i wished i could have a chance, to get to know her really well. become more personal.
and guess what. i'm 65 kg now. i gained 2 kg. i don't know whether i should be glad or feel bad.
posted by swensen-s- at 6:43 AM
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