22 days.

i don't know how to start.

my post ain't going to so cheerful like justin's one though, that he managed to pass his BBDC and all.

been feeling like crap. yeah. she told me no. and i just don't know how to take it yet. i act as if it wasn't anything much. but, really, deep down, i'm still a guy who got thrown down to earth. it sucks.

and my prelim results? kinda fucked too. what the hell with a CCCD. with such grades, i'm going nowhere. prelims may be difficult, but i expected myself to be better. i made a choice to study really hard, stuck by papers after papers. i look back and see a wasted path. no matter, its still a road i'm walking down. no choice, no heading back.

i saw her in i-space today. she tried very hard not to look at me, i couldn't understand why, even after i told her we are still friends through the phone. i really can't help it but to feel so shitty. i like my friends around me, they give me a feeling that i'm appreciated as a person and as a friend. but, it still doesn't match that kind of feeling a person i like could give me.

shit. i'm really talking nonsense here. just whining about my life. hope you readers don't mind.

its 22 days left. my physics foundation is just weak. so is my maths. at least chemistry, i beginning to gain my confidence. econs, i don't know. 50 50? UGH. what the hell anyway. just study right. so practical in singapore. the goddamn As don't even mean a thing in life if i lived in a place besides singapore.

i want to feel being loved.